I woke up, late, into my hopelessness. I went to the bathroom, came back to look out my window. There is a net installed between the buildings that I see from my window. There was something in the net. Squint my eyes to see what it is. Its too far. I kept looking and it moved its wings. Its a pigeon stuck in the net. I watched it all through the short hours of sunlight. Other pigeons came to watch it. Then it started to snow and darken. It wasn’t a coincidence that I am; where, when and who I am.
Its crazy but only if I used my humanly powers, that pigeon could see tomorrow. If only I go there, find the right apartment, it is stuck above, get through the gates, ring their bell and explain the situation to possibly a tired parent after work, in German; that pigeon may find its way out of this inconsiderate human made death trap. A Viennese, after work!..
I tried to use my brain power to communicate with the pigeon. . I closed my eyes and said, “Utilise my intelligence to decipher your way out! Use my brain, be calm and asses the situation. The pigeon really tried. Flapped its wings to no avail. I don’t interfere with life, never leave my flat, don’t talk to anybody, for years now, yet life is giving me a situation, I thought.
It is completely crazy to contemplate doing this but its almost dark and I cant see any more. Then I thought, I’ll wake up to see the dead pigeon the next day and the next ones coming and I will know, I didn’t even try. I thought, this giant net, web is there built like a bird trap. Cant be the first or the last! Who fucking cares about a flying rat’s life. I am already a monster who sponsored countless slaughters of animals, mammals! Aaaaaaaaa! Fuck fuk fuck fuck! And I was putting my pants on to do my frail part. I thought, this is bigger than me, like all the other things and adventures I’ve taken part in, if it is meant to be, the was I cant help but interpret it, then the doors will open, the right people will be at the right place and time to make it possible. So I went on out to meet them. I walked under the snow, people coming from work… It is a very complicated architecture, buildings built like lego pieces into each other. I narrowed it down to two buildings with the help of Google Maps and waited in front of those gates.
Somebody came out of one and I entered, climbed the stairs to the top to look out into the inner courtyard to see that it must be the other building. So I went out, looked around a bit and thought what the fuck am I doing? They are going to think I’m a burglar doing field research. Fuck it, I’m going home. Walked 20 meters, a pedestrian walking towards me, talking something out of his pocket. Is it? Yes, keys. I turned to watch him. He walked passed the wrong building to enter the right one. It was these two seconds I had to decide, fuck, I ran after him. I caught him on the stairs to explain it with my stupid German. He couldn’t be more indifferent. Again, I walked out to leave. Somebody was entering the building. I couldn’t just stand there to think if I should push or leave it. I had to either walk out or climb the stairs right in that moment. I climbed the stairs, all the way up. Pulled out my google maps one more time to estimate the right flat. Number 38! I had to do it. I rang the bell, got checked from the peephole. A young woman with lots of piercings, short hair opened with a half peeled carrot in her hand and a very unusual warm smile on her face. Nobody had that to my face before, here. “Es tut mir leid dich zu stören aber es gibt eine Taube, die im Netz gesteckt, innen hof seite. Es ist schwierig für mich, das die ganzen Tag sterben an zu sehen. Ich wollte es nur bescheid geben.” To my astonishment, she wasn’t looking at me like “are you fucking kidding me!?” She wasn’t sure if its the right apartment. I showed on google maps and told her she could see it if she looked up, out of her window. She seemed a bit confused. I thanked her very much for her understanding and left.
I’ve never been so proud of myself for as long as I can remember. It felt great, I walked around the block a bit. Found a pre-rolled cigarette in my pocket, asked for a light on the street and smoked it with a smile, energised! Then walked home to check the progress.
She was there with a broom, trying to save the pigeon. My smile stretched behind my ears. It didn’t seem easy. C’mon! You can do it C’mon!.. She went to get scissors, started cutting the web. It took about ten minutes to watch and the exhausted pigeon fell off the web into the darkness. I clapped hard into the quiet innenhof. She stuck her head out the window and gave a thumbs up. My heart is full of joy!
I wont see the pigeon dead tomorrow!
I did my part! It worked!
Illustrations by Monika Ernst